In the halls of justice, time is a precious commodity. Usually, lawsuits involve broken contracts, property damage, or life-altering injuries. But on this day, Mr. Campos walked into the courtroom demanding $5,000 over a bad haircut.

The Revelation

The tension shifted the moment Judge Judy asked a simple question: “What do you do for a living?”

“I’m a lawyer,” Mr. Campos replied, almost sheepishly. “I hope you don’t use that against me.”

The Judge’s response was immediate and biting. “No, I’m going to hold your lawsuit against you—because it’s stupid. I would have thought a lawyer had more respect for the courts than to bring this kind of case.”

The “Crime”

The facts of the case were, by the court’s definition, microscopic. In December, just before Christmas, Mr. Campos had visited a local barber. He paid $10 for a haircut. However, according to him, the defendant didn’t just trim his hair—she “shaved” his head with an electric shaver.

“It wasn’t a haircut. It was a shave,” he argued, clearly wounded by the loss of his remaining hair. He claimed the emotional distress and the look of his scalp warranted a $5,000 payout.

The Judge was unimpressed. She looked at him three months later, noting that his hair had already grown back to its usual length. The “tragedy” had lasted exactly four weeks.

The Mockery of Justice

As Mr. Campos tried to argue his points with the flair of a trial attorney, the Judge grew increasingly weary. When she asked if he had continued working during the month his hair was short, he hesitated, trying to play word games.

“I’m not claiming lost wages,” he cleared his throat, trying to regain his professional dignity.

“Mr. Campos, it’s not an audition, sir,” the Judge snapped. When the lawyer tried to deflect with a bit of charm, the exchange took a sharp turn into the legendary sarcasm the court is known for.

“I don’t think you’re cute,” the Judge remarked. “I’m not trying to be cute,” he countered. “You are trying to be cute,” she retorted. “And you are cute. That’s why I have the job, and you get ten dollars.”

The Final Verdict

The Judge didn’t just dismiss the $5,000 claim; she humiliated the legal professional for wasting the court’s time. She granted him a judgment of exactly $10—a refund of the original haircut price—and nothing more.

“You don’t want to hear the facts!” Mr. Campos shouted as he was ushered out.

“We’re done,” the Judge replied, closing the book on one of the most expensive $10 haircuts in Texas history.