Did You Know That Caitlin Clark Is Racist? She Doesn’t Deserve to Represent the WNBA!

(A Satirical Piece from The Onion… Wait, No, Just the Internet in 2026)

In a shocking revelation that’s sweeping the nation faster than a poorly edited TikTok meme, Chicago Sky superstar Angel Reese has allegedly dropped the ultimate bombshell: “Did you know that Caitlin Clark is racist? She doesn’t deserve to represent the WNBA!”

Sources close to the drama (mostly anonymous Twitter accounts with egg avatars and zero followers) claim Reese made this explosive statement during a late-night podcast rant, possibly while sipping tea and scrolling through fan comments. The quote has gone viral, racking up millions of views, shares, and heated debates in group chats across America.

According to insiders (again, mostly rage-posting on Reddit), Reese pointed to undeniable evidence: Clark’s flawless three-point shooting, her Midwestern politeness, and the fact that she once smiled at a referee without trash-talking. “That’s peak white privilege right there,” one expert fan analyst declared. “Real ballers scowl and flex. Caitlin’s out here being nice? Suspicious.”

The backlash was immediate. WNBA Commissioner Cathy Engelbert reportedly called an emergency meeting to discuss stripping Clark of her “face of the league” status and replacing her with a more “deserving” hologram of Michael Jordan. Meanwhile, Clark’s Indiana Fever teammates have been seen burning their jerseys in protest… or was that just a barbecue? Hard to tell in this economy.

But wait—there’s more! Critics of Reese’s alleged claim are calling it divisive, pointing out that Clark has repeatedly denounced racism, supported investigations into fan hate, and even said nice things about opponents. “How dare she be decent?” one outraged commenter fumed. “This league needs more drama, not unity!”

In related news, fans on both sides are uniting in one glorious way: flooding social media with AI-generated images, death threats, and unfounded accusations. Truly, the rivalry that’s boosting WNBA viewership to record highs is the gift that keeps on giving.

At press time, neither player has commented on the quote, because—spoiler alert—it’s completely made up. But hey, in the age of online outrage, who needs facts when you’ve got clicks?

Satire Note: This is pure parody. No such statement exists from Angel Reese or anyone credible. The real story? Both players have praised each other, condemned hate, and elevated the game. Let’s focus on the basketball, folks.