In the world of traffic court, most defendants arrive with a rehearsed script of excuses. They weren’t looking at the speedometer; the sign was hidden by a tree; the car behind them was tailgating. But when Mr. Breeze, a pizza delivery driver for Billy’s Pizza, stepped up to the podium, he brought something the court rarely sees: absolute, unfiltered honesty.
The Language of Truth
The charge was straightforward: speeding in a school zone on Charles Street. Mr. Breeze was visibly nervous, apologizing for his limited English and pleading for the judge to be patient.
The judge, known for his fatherly demeanor, tried to put the driver at ease. “Is there anything you want to tell me about this?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” Mr. Breeze replied simply. “I am working for Billy’s Pizza. I am a driver.”
The “Hot Pizza” Trap
The judge, perhaps trying to lead the witness toward a favorable defense, began to paint a picture. “You have to deliver the pizza, right? And you want it to be hot when you get it there? Nice and warm?”
“Yeah, exactly,” Mr. Breeze nodded enthusiastically.
“So, you rush,” the judge prompted with a smile. “You drive fast.”
Any other driver would have caught the hint and denied it. But Mr. Breeze just shrugged. “Sometimes. Depending on if I have two or three or four deliveries.”
The courtroom chuckled. The judge leaned in, literally trying to coach the man. “You’re not supposed to say that! You’re supposed to say, ‘I never speed.’ Let’s try again.”
The Failed Rehearsal
For the next few minutes, a hilarious back-and-forth ensued. Three times the judge set the stage, practically hand-feeding Mr. Breeze the words that would save him from a fine.
“So, you drive fast to get there, right?” the judge asked for the third time. “Right,” Mr. Breeze answered instantly, his honesty overriding his survival instinct.
The courtroom erupted in laughter. Even the judge threw up his hands in mock defeat. “I quit!” he joked. “You’re a very honest guy.”
The Logic of the Law
Despite Mr. Breeze’s “confession,” the judge turned his attention to the actual facts of the case. He noticed a crucial detail: the ticket was issued at 7:47 PM.
“School is not in session at 8:00 at night,” the judge noted. He explained that the law regarding school zones didn’t apply at that hour, and he wasn’t about to punish a hardworking man for going a few miles over the limit on a deserted street.
The Final Verdict
“The matter is dismissed,” the judge declared. “You’re free. You don’t have to pay any money. Do you understand?”
Mr. Breeze’s face lit up. “I understand now.”
As the driver turned to leave, the judge couldn’t resist one last question. “Now, when the pizza is hot, are you going to speed to get it to the house?”
Mr. Breeze gave a mischievous look and a final, honest shrug. “You don’t know,” he replied, leaving the courtroom in stitches. He walked out without a fine, proving that sometimes, being a “hardworking guy” with an honest heart is the best legal defense there is.
