DEAL ACCEPTED: Edmonton Oilers Make Bold Move to Sign Midfielder Matthew Tkachuk to $222 Million Deal to Help Connor McDavid Win His First Trophy…
The Edmonton Oilers have reportedly signed “midfielder” Matthew Tkachuk to a jaw-dropping $222 million deal in a bold bid to support Connor McDavid’s pursuit of his first championship.
Yes, you read that correctly: midfielder. And yes — this is hockey we’re talking about.
A Deal So Bold, It’s Breaking the Rules (of Logic)
The sports community was left scratching their heads today after reports surfaced that the Edmonton Oilers, one of the NHL’s most storied franchises, had inked Matthew Tkachuk to a record-setting contract worth $222 million over eight years.
The twist? The reports claim Tkachuk is a midfielder — a position exclusive to soccer, not ice hockey.
To make matters more confusing, Tkachuk already plays in the NHL — for the Florida Panthers — as a left winger, not a midfielder. And due to NHL salary cap rules, no single player can be paid that much under any standard contract. So… what’s going on?
Internet Reacts: Chaos, Memes, and Conspiracy Theories
Social media exploded:
“Midfielder? Did the Oilers switch leagues overnight?”
“McDavid finally gets help — but it’s from FIFA, not the NHL.”
“Tkachuk and McDavid on the same team? The apocalypse is here.”
Some fans speculated this was a prank, a misworded tweet, or the result of ChatGPT getting overconfident after watching both the NHL and Euro 2024 simultaneously. Others wondered if the Oilers were expanding into multi-sport territory — or launching a hockey-soccer hybrid league.
Rivalry Ignored for the Trophy Dream?
Putting aside the sport confusion, the idea of Matthew Tkachuk joining Connor McDavid is wild enough on its own. The two have been fierce rivals since their early days in Alberta — McDavid with the Oilers, and Tkachuk formerly with the Calgary Flames. Their on-ice battles have been some of the most heated in modern hockey.
But the idea behind the fictional mega-deal is clear: help McDavid, widely considered the best hockey player in the world, finally lift the Stanley Cup.
Reality Check
Let’s break it down:
Matthew Tkachuk is under contract with the Florida Panthers until 2030.
The NHL salary cap currently hovers around $88 million per team.
No one can sign a $222 million deal in the NHL — that’s more than double what McDavid currently earns.
There are no midfielders in hockey.
So, unless Edmonton has secretly joined Major League Soccer, or the NHL has merged with UEFA, this story is less of a trade report and more of a glitch in the multiverse.
Final Thoughts: Fiction, But Fun
While obviously a fictional or misreported story, the idea of the Oilers “signing Tkachuk the midfielder” does strike a chord — fans want to see McDavid win. And they’d accept almost anything — even breaking space-time and sport boundaries — to make it happen.
So no, Matthew Tkachuk isn’t trading in his skates for shin guards. But maybe the Oilers should make a big move — a real one — to give McDavid the help he needs. Just maybe keep it on the ice.
