SUNRISE, FL — Residents of The Great White North exploded into celebration once again last night, as Canada continued its time-honored tradition of being worse than the United States at everything.
The latest installment of the 158-year tradition came Tuesday night, as the Edmonton Oilers once again lost in the NHL Stanley Cup Finals to the Florida Panthers, once again solidifying Canada’s status as being inferior to the U.S. in every way.
“We weren’t sure if we could get crushed by a team whose state doesn’t even have ice, but we did it!” said Edmonton center Connor McDavid. “It looked touch and go for a while, there, going to a sixth game in the series. We came pretty close to disappointing everyone by winning it all, but thankfully, we were able to hold on and continue the tradition. This is what Canada is all aboot.”
Following the loss, the team received a congratulatory message from Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney. “I wanted to extend my gratitude to the Oilers for upholding our nation’s longest and most well-known tradition,” Carney said. “Someday, hopefully long, long in the future, there may come a day when Canada is better at something than the United States.
But that day is not today. Today, we celebrate that our proud streak remains intact. So, raise a Molson Ice and eat a bowl of poutine, Canadians. The Edmonton Oilers have shown the world once again where Canada belongs: behind the U.S.”
At publishing time, the Toronto Blue Jays had pledged to double the number of games back they were in the American League East to ensure that they would do their part to uphold the Canadian tradition.
These British police officers are keeping the streets safe from dangerous weapons.
‘Rigged league’: Outrage over NHL’s Evander Kane inquiry into Oilers’ use of salary cap relief
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This in from The Daily Face-off’s Frank Seravalli: “Sources: NHL plans to continue to examine the #Oilers usage of LTIR salary cap relief for forward Evander Kane. The NHL may require more information to satisfy itself that the #Oilers complied with the CBA.”
Seravalli writes: “The NHL is still deliberating on next steps. There is the potential for retroactive punishment if the league finds the spirit of the CBA was violated. No team in the salary cap era has been punished for LTIR usage, despite the hot button issue and no shortage of complaints in recent years.”
The report at once brought on a storm of reaction in Edmonton, where tempers are already ragged after alleged miscalls by referees in the Stanley Cup Final came just before Florida five key gaals in the series.
The outrage from Oilers fans and commentators on the Kane Inquiry ranged from perplexed to red hot furious:
Edmonton sports radio host Brenden Escott @BrendenEscott
Whether it’s on the ice or off, Evander Kane is going to draw extra attention from the NHL and its officials. Why is THIS the case they decide to pursue?
NHL hockey commentator Jonathan Willis @JonathanWillis
This is of a piece with the league taking 2nd round picks from the Oilers for Chiarelli and McLellan and changing the conditions of the third-rounder in the Lucic trade.
Edmonton sports radio host Dustin Nielson @nielsonTSN1260
Why now? This is ridiculous.
Brad Clough @CloughBrad
In game 6, the Oilers iced a team with salaries totalling $73.3 million. Florida was $93.4 million. Retention and LTIR excluded.
Yeah so the Oilers are the problem 🤦♂️
Captain Jack 🏴☠️ @OilersJack
The NHL hates the Oilers. Any other narrative is bullsh*t pushed by rivals in McRebuilds.
Oilers fan Ron Prochner @RonProchner
The Oilers will send a 3rd round pick to Calgary
Oilers fan Pat McFee @TheRealPatMcFee
How much investigating did they do with Tampa Bay, Vegas and Florida? I’m betting 0 minutes.
Oilers fan Finn 🇨🇦 @oilersjayscan
Lol of course they will😂 So it’s okay for Vegas to constantly abuse that loophole, but when we do it, NOW they’re going to investigate🤣🤣 Classic Bettman league
Oilers fan Maltsy 🇨🇦 @KMalts11
Classic NHL. When it’s a Canadian team that does it now it’s a problem.
Oilers fan Emily Hall @Pooks_rutherfor
Oilers fans need to protest this action. NHL is picking only Edmonton Oilers for Evander Kane LTIR cuz of the grievance he filed vs. NHL and San Jose Sharks. They’re mad cuz he won his grievance and this action is retaliatory.
Oilers fan Bone @bonejrp
Teams do this over and over and the first time a Canadian team does it they turn it into a witch hunt when literally every team Edmonton faced in the playoffs had a higher payroll than them during the playoffs.
Den Polland @oilersgm2
That’s a fricken joke! How many teams, how many years has this been going on for? This league seriously is trying to remove the Canadian teams.
Oilers fan Connors Better…. @marten_ferguson
Lol… Tampa, fine…. Vegas ( twice) , fine, …. edmonton… BURN THEM AT THE STAKE!
Oilers fan Rob Soria @Oil_Drop
This league is ridiculous.
Oilers fan Ahmed @NHL_Bouchard
But Mark Stone and Matthew Tkachuk are A OK!! Wooo. Most bunk and corrupt league in all major sports. Gary Bettman i wish nothing but the worst on you
Oilers fan Just Here 4 🏒 @JustHereforNHL
Rigged league. Canadian teams don’t have a chance with Bettman
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Oilers fan Lotsy @lotsryan
Ridiculous. The guy had major surgery on both adductors and two hernia surgeries PLUS a separate knee surgery during the recovery. Why choose THIS specific instance to finally look into it when other teams have been doing it for years AND WINNING CUPS AFTER DOING SO?
And from outside sources:
VGK hockey commenator Chris Gawlik @TDChrisG
1, after the Stanley Cup Final is a hell of a time to start asking questions
2, the problem isn’t what Edmonton, Vegas, Florida, Tampa, or Chicago did. The rule LTIR is a mockery to begin with. Teams should circumvent the cap anyway they can.
Vancouver sports radio commentator Blake Price @justBlakePrice
So if the Oilers had won the Cup, they would have investigated this “after” they had used the player to win it? Totally makes sense.
Toronto sports radio commentator Justin Bourne @jtbourne
Wouldn’t be surprised if the league is looking for the chance to punish *someone* so they have something to point as a threat in the years ahead? But it’s pretty insane that it would happen after the playoffs.
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My take
1. All year I noticed that the Oilers were exceedingly careful about how they talked about Kane’s injury situation and whether or not he would use the cap space that flowed out of the players injuries, multiple surgeries and absence from the roster. Exceedingly cautious. Now we know why.
The NHL is on the look-out to punish some team and some player for LTIR abuse, I suspect. What better target than fierce Evander Kane, widely hated around the team by many rival fans, players and managers?
2, With his multiple injuries and surgeries, one would expect Kane to have a good case for missing all the time he did. Did he come back too early? Too late?
So long as Kane’s doctors and Kane were on the same page with this, it’s hard to imagine the NHL will find any wrong-doing. Surely a player and his doctor are allowed to determine when he’s fit to play, no?
That should not be up to NHL officials.
3. Kane was good in the playoffs, but he wasn’t shot out of a cannon on his return. He missed Game 1 of the playoffs against Los Angeles. In the end, he scored 12 points in 21 playoff games and took 44 minutes in penalty. He was de-fanged in the Stanley Cup Final after he took one or two iffy high-sticking penalties, made all the worse due to Edmontoln’s struggling penalty kill.
