It has an element of karma to it. Only a few days ago, Donald Trump threatened the people of Iran that soon their civilisation would be killed and that they themselves would be “living in hell”. Over the past 12 hours or so, it has rather seemed that it is the president himself whose world – it’s difficult to term it a civilisation – is under attack and his own life becoming rather hellish. It would take a heart of stone not to smirk.

The Iranians themselves have a lot to do with it. So far from meekly going along with Trump’s spin that they’d suffered a terrible defeat and were begging for mercy, they’ve continued to call the shots; literally, in the case of the Strait of Hormuz. Crucially, the price of a barrel of oil is back up again, gas remains expensive, and confidence continues to drain from the world economy.

The US is not, as Trump keeps saying, “the hottest country in the world”, and the voters know it. The pollsters say that Trump’s personal ratings are “in Death Valley”, the lowest for any president at this stage in recorded history, including Richard Nixon and George W Bush.

The Iranians may not even turn up for the peace talks in Pakistan with Trump’s envoys, Steve Witkoff and son-in-law Jared Kushner. Even his friend Bibi Netanyahu insists on making life more difficult by bombing Lebanon and, probably deliberately, prolonging this disastrous conflict.

All that is bad enough. Then you have Melania, DJT’s beautiful first lady and “movie star”. You wouldn’t say she has betrayed him. Indeed, in some respects, she must be quite long-suffering. But, as they say, her intervention on the Epstein scandal wasn’t on anyone’s bingo card for 2026, least of all that of her husband “Daa-nald”, as she calls him, enchantingly.

For no apparent reason, and a surfeit of supposed ones, she chose this time to make a high-profile statement from the White House, standing behind the presidential podium. She tells us she’s never had a relationship with Jeffrey Epstein, and that she wants his victims to give testimony to Congress, which is a bit of a surprise move from the very heart of the Trump family. Quite gratuitously, she invites us to reread the true account of how she met “Daa-nald” in her autobiography. Anything to help book sales, I suppose.

According to her, “there was something magnetic about him: his confidence, his charm, his humor, his vision”. Who could argue with that? The president said she didn’t give him advance warning about her latest public statement about their old mutual acquaintance Jeffrey, and “she didn’t know him”. White House sources, on the other hand, confirmed that he had notice of her remarks. Such inconsistency is perplexing; after all, Trump thinks we should all move on from this talk about the Epstein files (and after having campaigned on releasing the lot).

And talking about Trump’s confidence, charm, humour and vision, these have also been on full display as he lashes out at his old acquaintances/friends/frenemies in the Maga movement. In a social media post that exceeded his usual standards of juvenile peevishness, not to mention windings, he didn’t hold back on his frustrations. Tucker Carlson, Megyn Kelly, Candace Owens and Alex Jones – admittedly none immediately lovable personalities – were subjected to the wrath of Donald, labelled “NUT JOBS, TROUBLEMAKERS”.

Though their views on foreign policy can be eccentric, none, as Trump claims, are in favour of a nuclear-armed Iran. But, most wounding of all in the Trump credo, they’ve been “thrown off Television”. To which Jones simply replied that “it may be time to put Grandpa up in a home”.

Well, yes, he is pushing 80. The international celebrations of a life full of selfless love and achievement that will surely mark his birthday will be on 14 June, if you want to organise that cake and street party. As the wheels fall off Trump and the Maga juggernaut, I humbly submit that this precipitous date, or the USA’s 250th birthday on 4 July, might be a fitting moment for him to retire to his golf and his presidential library before the “radical left Democrats” win an overwhelming victory in the November elections and immediately start impeachment proceedings against him.

Vice President Vance, who must be concerned about his chances in 2028, might well be persuaded to issue the necessary pardon to the former president, and the living hell Trump has put everyone else through will be over. We can but beseech Pete Hegseth, so evidently in direct communion with God, to say that prayer, every day, on bended knee, for all of us. Amen.